I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
