did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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