My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
