clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
