Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
