WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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