oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
