I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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