no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
