i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
