I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
