The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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