I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
