proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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