if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
