I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
