I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I believe in your delicious
I'm always down for nudity.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
