The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
