I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
