32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
