I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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