my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize