OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize