your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
