He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
