that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
