That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
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Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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