I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
