So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize