They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
