Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
