Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
