Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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