But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
