Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
