Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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