Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You dont lie about slip and slides
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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