Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
What did we do last night that was yellow?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
