I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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