i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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