The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize