I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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