I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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