Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
