we made out on top of his cat.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
