I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
