It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
