He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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