super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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