Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
