having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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