my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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