Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
