omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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