is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
