put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
